Hidden Leaf continued 8

Sasuke awoken in mortified fear. Someone was in his bed. He knew this because their hands were wrapped around his stomach and were traveling south.
“Oh Naruto… your fox is so… big.”
…
3
2
1
“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!”

Sai had been kicked so hard that he literally flew in the air crashing so fast into the wall it left a spider web like crack in the wall.
“…well good morning to you too.”
“Is THAT how you wake someone in the morning? My grabbing their morning-!”
“Considering who you are you’re not going to get any kind of action any other way, I’d thought you’d enjoy it.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh you know, by giving your poor hand a break.”
Sasuke twitched
“This ‘poor’ hand, IS GOING TO STRANGLE YOU!!”

And with that Sai took that as his cue to leave and bolted out of the room with Sasuke close in tail.
“Don’t think you can escape from me! I know every crook and cranny of this god-forsaken place! You can’t-!”
“What’s Naruto doing?”
The two boys then stopped to notice Naruto and Hinata happily chatting to one another. They also notice Hinata had a knife in her hand.

“Naruto what the hell are you thinking!?!”
Sasuke panicked as he dashed over to protect   his  Naruto. Hinata growled in annoyance as she crossed her arms and glared at Sasuke.
“Wha-? Dude you got it all wrong. Hinata wasn’t gonna hurt me.”
“Ya sure?”
“Well yeah, I was teaching her how to properly use it.”

…

“WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO THAT!?!” Sasuke yelled as he shook Naruto back in forth.
“Cause she doesn’t know how?”
“ARE YOU INSANE?!”
“I think every girl should know how to use a knife properly in case of emergencies.”
“SHE’S THE CAUSE FOR THE EMERGANCIES!!”
“Ah there you are.” All eyes turned to face the butler. “Breakfast is served.”
“…Don’t think that this is over.” Sasuke commented as he pointed an accusing finger at Naruto. “We are going to have this talk.”
Naruto whined. He didn’t want to have to pay more attention than was necessary, and with Sasuke that was alot more than he could handle.

As they drew closer they could smell the delicious aroma down the hall. It smelt wonderful. Naruto’s stomach growled. His stomach agreed. With that Naruto bolted into the dining room.
“Relax it’s not going to leave.”
Neji commented as he coolly took his seat. But Naruto didn’t care, he dashed himself into a seat and took a fork and knife in separate hands and licked his lips. The others entered the room as well and took their seats. The butler then brought metal trays before them filled with a variety of meats like salami and every sausage under the sun, cheese, bread, lots and lots of bread, and eggs. Naruto blink a few times. Where was the bacon? Surly if they have sausage they’d have bacon right? RIGHT?

“What’s the matter? Not the right kind of sausage?” Sai smirked as he sucked one of them in his mouth “I’ve got your sausage right here.” Then rubbed his lower half.
“I’m pretty sure that’s NOT what he wants.” Sasuke snapped.
“Hm, ya sure? Cause I know mines bigger than yours.”
Sasuke blinked a few times.
“What-?”
“Girls, girls, your both pretty.” Neji intervened “Though it’s obvious that I’m better.”
“Says who?!”

After having to put up with Sasuke and Sai for a six hour flight AND constant bickering since, Naruto ignored the three Powerpuff girls (as he liked to call them. Neji was Blossom for long hair. Sai was Bubbles for his upbeat personality…though it may have more to do with the fact he’s always smiling. And because Sasuke NEVER smiled, Buttercup, that… and he was a violent prick.). He instead focused his attention towards Hinata.

“No no, you have to hold it more like this.”
Naruto then placed his hands on hers to help angle the knife. While in the mists of arguing Neji took notice of Naruto’s action and flipped the fuck out.
“What the fuck do you think your doing?!”
“Uh, holding her hand?”
“Why?” Neji twitched. There was NO WAY he would allow such a moron to be involved with his sweet (he’s delusional), innocent, (but highly dangerous), cousin.
“Relax Neji, I’m sure it’s not whatever it is you are thinking.” Sasuke sighed.
“What was he thinking?” Naruto asked curiously.
“Do want to live?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.”
Naruto pouted at Sasuke. Why did the teme always leave him in the dark? …asshole.

Naruto then glanced over to Neji and began explaining.
“I was showing her how to properly hold a knife.”
“She has more manners than you.”
“To stab people.”
“Oh…oh okay…wait…that’s not okay! That’s slightly worse!”
“Slightly?” Sai commented doubtfully.
“…okay A LOT worse! I don’t want her involved with weapons!”
“But isn’t your family, like, all about guns?” Naruto asked confusingly. Neji glared at him.
“I don’t want her involved with that.”

“And why not?!” Hinata slammed her fist on the table “Am I not a part of this family?!!” Naruto glanced back in forth between them and nervously scooted his chair away from the table with his food plate in hand. Sai however only scooted in closer. “I have EVERY right to be involved!”
“Yeeess-“ Neji replied hesitantly  “but you don’t HAVE to be…”
“I collect knives, Neji! Knives! How could I not want to be involved?!”
“We use guns…”
“Knifes, guns, I don’t care, just give me a weapon so I can go murder some bastards!!”

As the two continued Naruto leaned to the side and began whispering to Sasuke.
“THIS is your family?”
“My COUSIN’S side of the family.”
“…no wonder you and your brother are so messed up.”
Sasuke was about to make a remark but the doorbell rang and decided it would be best to leave and answer it before he had the chance to falcon punch Naruto’s face in half.

Only to of course regretted it immediately.
“Temari and… other blonde chick? …what are you guys doing here?”
Temari smirked devilishly.
“So Shika didn’t tell you?”
“Shika? … -!!” Sasuke then recalled his phone call at the airport.

(flashback)
Shika : "I have to send someone over to keep an eye on him." (him being Sai)
(Flashback over)

“Oh shit. He meant YOU?”
“Why of course.” Temari snorted in confidence as she flicked some of her hair. “Who else would he send in?”
“Uh… someone who actually worked at the police station?”
“Like me!” the other blond snapped before smiling sweetly at Sasuke. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met.” She then took her hand out to shake “My names Ino.” Then winked. … was this girl seriously trying to hit on him? … wait, she was an officer?

“Yeah, hold on a sec.” he then walked inside allowing the girls in as he began dialing Shika’s number. “Why is there TWO of them?”
He could hear Shika burst out in laughter on the other line.
“Like I was gonna miss a chance like this.”
“Chance to-?”
“Kill two birds with one stone. Not only do I get to get rid of them… but I can get a kick out of torturing you too!”
“That bad?”
“Sasuke, they’re women, BLOND, and HATE each others guts.” Sasuke could then hear the two yell at each other “It’s as bad as it gets.” Sasuke groaned.
“Why?”
“Cause you sneaked an art theif-“
“No not that, WHY do they hate each other?”
“Hm? Oh, something about them being the one for me or something.”
“Wait, you sent us your FANGIRLS?”
“Have fun!!”
And with that Shikamaru hung up. Sasuke sighed in defeat. This was going to be the most exhausting experience he was ever going to face.

“Fuck my whole life…”